so looks like beyonce did a thing.
I wanna start playing with video. I especially want to play around with coloured low lighting and soft focus/bokeh. I like light at night. Not just like shop signs but lampposts on a misty evening, or the glow of my laptop screen against the wall in a dark room, or distant light sources dotted around the view from my window. Lights and shadows and the power to highlight.
You’d think having a Music Video Production module would provide the perfect opportunity, and it kinda did, but instead, the group that I’m in are doing a fairly mediocre video in terms of experimentation.
Same thing with Intro to Sound. Right now, sound design is looking really awesome as a career path, but the direction my group is going for this projects leaves me unfulfilled. Then again, I can’t complain because I haven’t been contributing nearly as much as I should be and have no solid alternative of my own. Group work sucks because expectations and democracy.
I’m hoping there’ll be further opportunities for me to do these things as part of my course, but I’d still like to do them in my free time. I feel a little more empowered to actually go out and put things into practice. I’m gonna look into super 8 cameras again and perhaps buy my own recorder.
I think I need some time alone again. I realised that when you’re feeling alone, being in a room with people only exacerbates that loneliness, especially if they’re enjoying themselves and are oblivious to your internal turmoil. I wonder if maybe I should’ve tried calling you that night. I wanted to, and I don’t know why I didn’t.
This, coupled with the fact that I feel undesirable for anything beyond friendship makes me think I need to stop seeing the girls next door for a while. I refuse to change character, but I do feel like my life is seriously capped in that department and it is the worst, but that’s for another post.
Geniuses mumble to themselves because they think other people won’t understand. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
esta. - Moet (ft. JBird)
Drake - Worst Behavior
Can’t remember if I made an actual post on “Nothing Was The Same”, but I thought I’d share my thoughts on “Worst Behaviour”. It’s an interesting track to me. I like the chords and the percussion and general production. Normally I’d hate such repetitive lyrics, but I really think it’s a little more purposeful.
My interpretation of the line “Muhfucka never loved us” is Drake speaking on his absent father not loving he and his mother, but I feel like it’s also an anthem for many fatherless sons, with “us” being the identifier for the lead characters of the "black American dad story". I also think it has some application towards Drake’s rapping career in that he got (gets) clowned on a lot and started from the “bottom”, etc.
My favourite (non-repeated) line “Muhfucka never loved us, so everywhere we go now, full cup. Always hated the boy, but now the boy is the man, muhfucka I done growed up”. Like, you could straight relate that to both his growth as a rapper and the growth a son with an absent father experiences.
The whole tone of the song has this angst. After shouting “Muhfuckas never loved us”, Drake quietly mutters “fucker never loved us” to himself, almost reiterating it to himself to justify his actions and emotions. Tyler, The Creator has a similar moment in “Jamba” where he says “Papa ain’t call even though he saw me on TV. ‘sall good”, then faintly and bitterly whispers “Fuck you”.
The whole song is kind of like.. I don’t wanna use the term “acting out”, but it sort of has this “I’ll show you!” or “Look at me now, XYZ!”, and “Uh-uh, you can’t tell me nothing”. I kinda feel like it’s what Kanye was doing with Yeezus and “I Am A God”. This kind of arrogant opulence that comes in being a cultural icon. I just thought it was poorly done. I’m glad Kanye doesn’t want to be considered a rapper because he’s weak now.
I feel like for a song like that, the obnoxious tone and repetitive reassurance makes sense. I just don’t really like it as a standard Drake style. It’s interesting though, because although I wasn’t feeling this style change since “Started From The Bottom” dropped, I have to admit that Drake is sounding a little more like a rapper to me. I remember once saying that hearing him say “Pussy nigga get your weight up” in “9AM In Dallas” (circa 2010) was one of the rare moments when I felt Drake actually sounded like a rapper to me. Now I’m just wondering what that says about what I consider to be a rapper/rap music.
P.S. I haven’t seen the video and I haven’t read this back and I don’t really care.
"Sugar" from my upcoming solo gallery show, "Full Disclosure", at Stranger Factory in Feb. 2014
in the simplest of words, you still mean everything.
We were giving pitches for our Intro to Sound task. We basically went up, presented the storyboard and explained our designed sound. The lecturer had said this was more casual than the previous presentation, and was more about him being able to identify problems and suggest ideas from the pitch.
A pair went up to present and the snickering I heard around me was infuriating. They basically laughing because he had a London accent and used “innit” in his sentences. It just annoyed me because hearing his speech wasn’t anything new to me. Lots of people sound like that in Lewisham. Lots of people sound like that in London. Like, these people are laughing at a stereotypical London accent in a London university. I was feeling a lot of stuff then. I resent the ridicule. It’s something I’ve been witnessing (and experiencing) more now that I’m in an institution where not everyone grew up in London, or rather, my London.